Forgiving the Past « Spiritual Travelman’s Weblog

Posted by: Felipe Crook | March 23, 2008

Forgiving the Past

At what point do you forgive your past, or someone else’s past? I know if Derik reads this he’s going to say “Someone Else’s past is none of your business” with a head shake and a snap. (maybe not the snap). This is the only moment we have, so how do we embrace our past, and look to the future but remain present? I know my projections from the past are hurtling towards people in my present right now, which I’m sure is part of my break up. My issues were with one person, and that doesn’t mean every person is going to be the same. I understand that intellectually, but I still find myself reacting in the same manner. Why? I can see how I tried to FORCE a situation or a person to be a way I needed, instead of just accepting the fact that it wasn’t working. I don’t like viewing my past with regrets because I am who I am because of it. When I talk about these things, it comes from a place of wanting to be a better person and wanting to be happy. That’s what we train ourselves to do right? When A happens, B happens. When I should be saying you’re a different person, a different situation and I’m not going to let my hurtful past color this present moment. At what point do you say, “Ok, I know I don’t want THIS to happen, but what about this?” Lots of questions spinning around in my head which makes my mind work even more then it already does.

Why do I need to control the way things “should” be. It’s a constant struggle with me, and I just want to say to myself, “Come on!! You’re old enough to know better.” But what if I have a trait or a quality that is just inherently me. A trait that no matter what kind of food I eat, situation I’m in, and life I lead is ALWAYS there. When do you accept it? If I really wanted to change I probably would, so is my ego telling me I should and shouldn’t? My friend Derik said to me the other day, your ego tells you what you should and shouldn’t do and your ego is not your true self. That’s great and all, but this loud, obnoxious voice keeps screaming things in my head. It’s a little annoying.

These are some of the things going through my mind right now. My brain is tired.

Posted in Spirituality | Tags: Letting go of the past, past and present, projecting fears, self help

Responses

That is good. I am glad your brain is tired. Let it rest, and start listening to your instinct. It is much easier. You don’t need a reason when you listen to your gut. You either do or don’t.

Your ego is the voice that is trying to tell you that you cannot change. It puts you in situations where you are reapeating patterns that you do not like. Once you stop analyzing everything and follow your instinct, you will instantly see a change. You won’t have the same reaction because you will be in a different place.

Whenever you are about to eliminate the ego, the ego goes into overdrive. Makes you think it is impossible. So don’t be discouraged. This means that you are closer than ever.

By: . on March 23, 2008
at 7:17 am

I agree with . I’m glad your brain is tired because now you can stop resisting yourSelf. The fact that your ego is telling you that you have a certain trait inherently within you is already a false idea. You have repetitive thought/action patterns in your life, not traits. Patterns can be changed at any time. YOU don’t have any traits. YOU are always in a state of constant change. Change and growth is the call of Source, the call of the Universe. You can’t stop it. But you can try to fight it.

And remember that what we call our “past” was only the present of the current moment. You wouldn’t beat yourSelf up over something you did or thought right now would you? We continue to grow and to change. But focusing on the previous present thought patterns and what we have DONE only refreshes them in our minds to easier do them again.

If you want true change, don’t focus on previous present moments. Shut off your mind, find some stillness, and discover yourSelf. You will find there’s no need to look back.

And of COURSE I would include a SNAP!